![]() ![]() The temptation in the moment is to feed the mood by saying something like, “What’s wrong with you? You’re ruining the movie for everyone!” Instead, you can put limits on this negative behavior by saying to them: Recognize when your child is trying to push your buttons and try not to get pulled in. Work hard not to indulge that part of your child. If your child spews a lot of negativity at home, the trick for you is not to get pulled into it because that’s what will give them the feeling that they’re in control, the feeling that they’ve got you, and you’re paying attention to them. And you and your child’s siblings probably bear the brunt of it because home is that safe place where they can let out the absolute worst part of themselves. In these cases, they’re not necessarily trying to make everyone upset.īut other times, they use negativity intending to make everybody else feel as miserable as they do. Sometimes they respond automatically without thinking. Understand that kids who exhibit oppositional or defiant behavior often use negativity to get everyone around them worked up, including you. Understanding why it upsets you so much is half the battle knowing why it pushes your buttons will help you find more calm, effective ways of dealing with it.ĭo you tend to be negative and critical yourself? Our kids’ behavior can often put a mirror in front of us, and it’s not always what we want to see.ĭo you feel responsible as a parent to fix your child, shape them up, and make them happy? Do you futurize and get anxious and ask yourself if this is the life your child is destined to lead? If you don’t react to it from your own anxiety, your child will eventually move on.Īfter you determine what’s triggering your child’s negativity, consider why you get so stirred up by it. When your child complains, they feel better because they’re expressing themselves and venting their worries and fears. Yes, this is unpleasant, but remember, don’t take it personally-this could be a coping skill your child is employing.Īs strange as it sounds, negativity and complaining are ways your child manages their anxiety. They may not tell you about their awful day at school, but they will complain that the food you cooked tastes awful. Pushing you out is the name of the game.Īnd let’s not forget that home is the safe haven where all stresses of childhood can land. Sharing their inner feelings means opening themselves up to you-and that is probably the opposite of what they want to do at this point in their life. ![]() I love it!”īut, once adolescence arrives, enthusiasm becomes uncool, especially around parents. You’d hear them say, “Mom, look at this! Wow, it’s so cool. When your kids were young, they might have been enthusiastic about everything. So, where does all this complaining come from? If your child is in their teen years, adolescence may be the culprit. Futurizing is the tendency to expect the worst outcome for your child, and it’s one of the most potentially destructive things that parents can do. ![]() What’s worse, your mind starts futurizing, and you start thinking that their negative attitude will be a problem for your child down the road. Your child may be loving, funny, and sweet, but the negative attitude stands out because it’s such an energy drainer. When your child is a constant complainer, it can be emotionally exhausting. Some kids’ versions of, “Hi, how are you this morning?” come out as, “These eggs are disgusting!” While this is the way your child might want to connect with you, it doesn’t mean you have to enjoy it or listen to it endlessly. They may simply want contact with you, albeit negative contact. ![]() Kids thrive on the connection they have with you, and if a child is always negative, they will usually get a reaction from their parents.Īs odd as it sounds, sometimes the negativity spewing from your child’s lips is not meant to sound as bad as it does. ![]()
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